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Saturday, November 24, 2012

Learning to Cope Day 38 Y2

One of my friend's hobbies?  Collecting cars.
From his collection.

"You have to give up the life you had planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you"
                                                                                                             Joseph Campbell

My writing has been becalmed; it is as still as a ship in a breezeless sea.  Creative thoughts continue to unroll in my head. I envision a massive supply of bubble wrap with ideas contained within each of the bubbles. Who doesn’t know the pleasure of popping those little bubbles?  The satisfaction is hard to describe. That is exactly how I feel about the ideas that seem to burst into my consciousness during most days.  Usually, I quickly jot them down.  Even if I have to develop them later, they will patiently lay in wait for me. I am fortunate to have a plenitude of ideas all clamoring for expression.  However, since my friend’s recent stroke, I am simply not summoning my usual discipline to write down the words.  The ideas, not lassoed, simply drift away.  Over more than a decade, my friend has had a tremendous influence on how I see the world -- in ways both tangible and intangible.  This  unscheduled, medically-necessitated hiatus from his life is not consistent with the man I have known.  I am trying hard not to let my concern for him to have an overreaching effect on my thoughts, but I am failing.  I move through my activities each day....making Thanksgiving dinner, walking the dog, watching a movie with one daughter, learning to read knitting  instructions from another, listening to music with my son.  Yet, all the while my friend and his family’s well-being are bleeding over into my thoughts.  Each day, I am especially conscious of the blessings that I enjoy and take for granted. To cope with this difficult period, I am trying to cultivate an attitude of thankfulness and a state of mind of detachment. With those tools, I can better appreciate my blessings and leave open the awareness that much of life is outside of my direct control. All I can do is surrender to the life that I am given and celebrate it.  That is all there is. 

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