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Thursday, January 24, 2013

Brain on Concussion


Okay, I feel like I am making far too much of the headache, brain fog, blurred vision, sensitivity to light and sound that are accompanying this concussion.... until I found this thread of an essay that -- apparently -- I had started to knit. I forgot about it and found it open on my laptop. To me, it was more than just an unfinished idea, it was like looking in the mirror and thinking....Ooh, it’s worse than I thought.  I wrote,

As a mother, it is essential to believe in the Law of Nature that commands that matter cn not be created or destroyed. This is what allows us to say, “it can’t sompleh disapper[[[[ 

I believe I intended to write, “As a mother, it is essential to believe in the laws of nature. In particular, the one that commands that matter can neither be created nor destroyed. This is what allows us to say to our children when they complain something cherished or prized (such as car keys) is “lost,” that it is unlikely to have simply disappeared. I might suggest that, “It is more likely to have been misplaced. As we all know, matter can neither be created nor destroyed.”
I know I am gaining clarity -- albeit, slowly -- every day. I described the sensation to my daughter in this way, “I am having more moments, even up to an hour, of lucidity. Without warning, I am plunged, once again, into a world that feels like I am moving underwater and no body else is underwater with me." When complaining about this sorry state of affairs to my son, he said, “But your BLOG, Mom... you ARE writing your blog, right?” When I abashedly said, “Not so much...” he gave me a lesson in readership and consistency and branding.
During this hiatus on sparkly, incisive writing, I can only plead that I am doing my level best to heal and be whole so that I can tackle my next project. Be patient, dear readers. Forgive me my trespasses on consistency and branding. I have in mind to discuss the remarkable value of redundancy in our lives and how it appears in nature as well as man’s work. I have been trying to understand the Gospels of Matthew and Luke, both purportedly developed based on Mark’s work as well as a possible theoretical source that has been called Q. The issue is, however, I can not wrap my brain around much and while I feel on the verge of a great realization, it crashes around me and I go and make myself a pot of tea instead. And that, Ladies and Gentleman, is a brain injury.

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