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Friday, March 16, 2012

Because I'm Worth It

Spring flowers from a friend.

 This day, in many ways, was like a thousand other days.  I moved through it completing tasks, resting, completing tasks, resting and discovering that the more I try to do, the greater are my aspirations for what I might accomplish.  It is now, in the twilight hours of the day, that I reflect upon my accomplishments, my disappointments and the things for which I am grateful.  With just three columns, I can sort my day and take stock of how I spent it.
Scratch Chocolate Cake and Vanilla Frosting
Seasoned olive oil
Among the accomplishments about which I am most excited are the homes I found for numerous of the items that I have inherited from my parents’ estate.  Winning first place for aesthetic appeal was the placement of my mother’s antique cherry desk in our library under a wall-hanging my sister made for my daughter when she was born.  I am still noodling over the storage problems that have been generated by five cartons of record albums dating from 1890 - 1975.  I was pleased to make a special oil mixture that contains ten herbs and spices for my son.  For my husband, I made a chocolate cake with vanilla frosting, his favorite cake for as long as I have known him.  I was delighted that the practice I have put in on the piano was evident to my teacher -- proving we are never too old to appreciate verbal praise! Those are the salient accomplishments that I can claim.
Disappointments?  I have had a few.  I couldn’t go outside and muck in the mud to prepare the garden for spring plantings.  I never made it to the post office to mail my correspondence or pick up my letters.  I merely managed to  copy over my list of jobs that need to be done, I didn’t cross off anything. I spend more time recumbent than standing.  That is a major disappointment.  I wanted to complete all my deskwork, tasks that I can’t imagine anyone enjoys.  I procrastinated.  When I try to justify my disappointing behavior, my mind runs a screening of the L’Oreal commercial; it ends with a tagline that proclaims the truth I am just beginning to incorporate into my thinking.. I can do as I choose with my day Because I’m worth it.
The numbers of things for which I am grateful is extensive and growing. At the top of any such list I must always start with the love I feel from my family and friends.  Talking to my children, wherever they are, always lifts my spirits.  The fact that local as well as distant friends make time to visit with me by phone or in person makes me feel special and loved.  That my spirit can almost always be lifted by love and beauty in any of their many forms is  a gift.   
With the start of each day, we can choose to live with an attitude of hope or despair.  I picture hope and despair being like hungry, stray cats meowing at the door.  Whichever one I invite in will make itself at home. Whichever one I feed will be mine for as long as I feed it. Today, this day, I chose hope.

Note about today: Had my mother survived, she would have been eighty today.

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