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For those of you who are interested, I can offer an obvious piece of advice. Avoid Super-Gluing your hands together.
This is secondary to the recommendation that you refrain from falling asleep in a hot tub while reading a library book.
A corollary remark, while sand-papering Super Glue off of your fingers may, ultimately, prove effective at removing glue from your hands, it will wreak havoc with the silky smooth hands that are associated with good grooming; your hands may look like a mason’s and feel as rough as asphalt roofing.
Last week, there was a night that I had a particularly hard time sleeping. I decided to take a relaxing soak in our hot tub. My habit is to turn on all available lights to dispel the darkness of night and -- very carefully -- hold my book a good ten inches above the roiling sea of 105 degree water so that I can read while immersed. The hot tub proved so relaxing that my eyes fluttered closed, and my arms slackened their hold on the book. It went for a quick dip. I quickly tried absorbing water with a towel and blotting off the excess water from the cover. Disheartened with the results, I went to bed. Just hours later, I got up for the day. I had a brainstorm. My drier has a feature that allows me to place an adapter in the drum to stop it from rotating. It has a flat surface that I can use to air dry wool sweaters and delicates. I placed the adaptor in the drier, then laid the book, binding spread open, on it. So far, so good. Unfortunately, I did not secure the adaptor properly. The drum proceeded to make a rotation, upending both the adaptor and the book. Regrettably, the motion snapped a small plastic piece on the adaptor. It was a piece that is essential to its proper functioning.
Another lightbulb went off. I could Super Glue the piece of plastic back into place. I thought it would weather the heat of the drier perfectly well once it dried.
The Super Glue refused to come out of its little tube. With confidence, I used scissors to snip the end of the Super Glue dispenser and squeezed again. Again, nothing. I walked my thumbs up the Super Glue bottle until finally, what appeared to be the entire contents, shot out all at once. I had a paper towel handy, just in case that happened. Carefully, I dipped the plastic piece in the glue and replaced it where it belonged on the drier adaptor. The mistake I made was to pick up that same piece of paper towel. Inadvertently, I touched the pooled contents of the Super Glue bottle. It ran over the fingers of both my hands. As soon as I recognized what happened, I tried to pull apart my fingers. The glue was just bonding when I did so. My fingers separated with just a small tug. I was relieved. Prematurely. The glue had sealed my finger nails to my skin on all eight fingers. It coated my thumbs like clumpy nail polish.
Luckily, in an early episode of Grey’s Anatomy, I learned Acetone should work like a charm to remove the glue. Unfortunately, I discovered that I have non-acetone nail polish (so much for a healthier choice!). I tried it anyway. No go. I tried Goo-Gone. It is a citrus-based cleaner that works well on removing most things. No joy. I scoured my husband’s work bench for Paint Thinner, but found none. I tried Comet. I tried Windex. The glue was so think on the pads of my fingers that I could not feel anything I was touching. It was disconcerting. I decided desperate times call for desperate measures. I returned to my bathroom and took a brand-new emery board and started sanding. I sanded my fingers and nails. I went through two emery boards, but the technique worked. My hands looked horribly abused, and my nails looked decidedly unladylike, but I could feel the coolness of a glass of cold water again. Fabrics snagged on my skin for days, but it was worth the relief of being unglued.
As for the sorry, water-logged book? I shut it and compressed it tightly between an entire shelf of books with the hopes that it will dry in shape, pages square. I’ll have to get back to you on the outcome of that bright idea.
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